Are you a people pleaser?
If you’re not sure whether you’re a people pleaser or not, answer the following questions and see how many you answer YES to.
Do you always put the needs of others ahead of your own?
Do you worry about what other people think?
Do you struggle to make decisions
Do you struggle to say no?
Do you find it hard to set boundaries?
Do you often adapt who you are to please others?
Do you avoid disagreeing with people or voicing your honest opinion?
Do you go along with things they you’re not happy about to avoid conflict?
Do you feel pressure to be friendly, nice, or cheerful at all times?
Do you feel anxious at the thought of standing up for yourself?
Do you feel people often take advantage of you?
Where does ‘people pleasing’ come from?
People pleasing is actually a highly adaptive way for a child to survive their childhood. For various different reasons the technique of ‘pleasing’ a parent or caregiver ensures the child gets their core needs met (food, love, affection, connection) or in more traumatic situations it might help limit pain and abuse. Carried into adulthood, people pleasing can actually be really damaging to your mental health and wellbeing.
Constantly putting the needs of others before your own, overthinking and assessing how other people feel or think is hugely draining for your nervous system for a number of reasons:
We can’t ever know what someone is thinking - it’s a wasted energy!
Overthinking creates anxiety and can put your nervous system into high alert
Ignoring your own needs increases stress levels
Putting your self worth in other peoples hands is like giving your power away
It makes it difficult to make decisions for yourself
Constant external validation cultivates self doubt and low self worth
Tapping is a great way to start reclaiming your power! Try this process now and rebuild your self worth once again.
For more support please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help xx