NURTURE YOUR INNER CHILD

NURTURE YOUR INNER CHILD

“Hold the hand of the child that lives in your soul. For this child, nothing is impossible.” Paulo Coelho

Your childhood forms the foundation of your mental health. It creates a blueprint for who you believe you are and how you see the world around you. Some memories will be positive and some will be difficult and challenging.

What is the Inner Child?

Your inner child is that part of you that for whatever reason maybe didn’t have their needs met as a child.

When we have a strong emotional reaction to something we’re reacting to the present moment because of our past and it’s often your inner child that’s been triggered.

For example, let’s say your boss criticises you for a project you worked really hard on and you feel flooded with emotion - this may be triggering your inner child and your limiting belief ‘I’m not good enough’.

You may be able to access some core memories to help understand your emotional reactions but most will be completely unconscious.

“Your “inner child” is a part of your subconscious that has been picking up messages way before it was able to fully process what was going on (mentally and emotionally). It holds emotions, memories and beliefs from the past as well as hopes and dreams for the future”

No parent is perfect, even the most loving parents make mistakes and of course childhood can be tough in many ways. Nurturing your inner child is a powerful way to bring inner peace to your internal world and give your mental health the boost it needs.

Tapping is a great place to start. Watch the video above to start the healing process.

HOW DO YOU CONNECT TO YOUR INNER CHILD?

"By reparenting our Inner Child, we can release and heal the pain from the past" Margaret Paul

If you’re not sure what your inner child is feeling today, follow this process:

Step 1: Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Then visualise yourself as a little child sat in front of you. Notice what they're wearing, and what they look like.

Step 2: Ask that little child how they're feeling today and notice what they say.

Step 3: Open your eyes and in your dominant hand write down the question - how are you feeling today?

Step 4: Put the pen in your non dominant hand and write the answer. Notice what comes up.

Step 5: Put the pen back into your dominant hand and write down these words - I am here for you now, you are safe, you are loved.

If you're still not sure what your inner child is feeling you can gently ask yourself these questions.

* Did I feel heard as a child? Did I feel like my parents / caregivers listening to what I had to say? Or did I feel dismissed?

* As a child did I feel seen? Or did I feel ignored?

* Were my emotions always validated? Or was I shamed for expressing how I felt?

* Was it ok to be sad, angry, scared, frustrated.... as a child? Was it safe to express my emotions?

* Did I feel safe as a child? (Emotionally and physically)

* Did I feel loved by my parents?

* Was the love unconditional or was it based on outside factors? (e.g achievements or things I did?)

* Did I feel like I had to prove my worth? (with grades, achievements, being a good girl/ boy, acting a certain way, behaving in a certain manner)

* Was I ever made to feel like I wasn’t good enough?

* Did I ever feel abandoned?

* Did I ever feel shamed, criticised or judged?

* Was I ever hurt (emotionally and physically)?

Or you can try listening to the Inner Child Guided Meditation Below

AFFIRMATIONS FOR YOUR INNER CHILD

Speaking directly to your inner child through meditation, journalling, tapping or any other means is a powerful way to make them feel seen, heard and validated. What do they need to hear today?

• I hear you

• I see you

• All of your emotions are valid

• You are safe

• Your are loved

• You are loving

• You are loveable

• You are enough just the way you are

• You are XXX (use the affirmation that is the opposite of your limiting belief e.g good enough, beautiful, wonderful, clever, strong, funny, kind, whole, good, talented, loved...)

• I am here for you now, you are never alone

• You don't need to be perfect you are human

• It’s ok to make mistakes

Inner Child Support

For more support nurturing your Inner Child please get in touch kim@hapyheads.me and check out my Nurture Your Inner Child Programme I would love to hear from you.

You can also download the Tapping Solution App where I have a 4 Day Inner Child Healing Series. It’s the perfect opportunity to help you reconnect to your inner child. It will enable you to communicate with them, hear what they have to say, gain insight into their limiting beliefs and deeply nourish them in the process. Your inner child really does hold the key to reducing anxiety, overcoming your limiting beliefs, releasing self doubt, overcoming fear and so much more.

5 MIN TAPPING FOR MUMS

Being a mum can be really hard. Most days you are on the go from the moment you open your eyes to the moment you fall asleep. This is a short tapping process to help bring some stillness into your over worked nervous system and also validate all of your mum emotions - they are all valid!

For more support please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help xx

5 MIN TAPPING FOR POSTPARTUM MUMS

The postpartum haze is really tough. Your brain has just gone through more changes than at any other time in your life, your body has just birthed your baby and you are permanently sleep deprived. That’s a lot for any new mum to go through!

Tapping really helped me navigate the postpartum phase with both my babies so try this short process now and see how it makes you feel. Mumma - I see you, and I totally feel you - you are doing great!

For more support please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help xx

TAPPING TO RELEASE YOUR STRESS

WHAT IS STRESS?

"A state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation" World Health Organisation

Stress is a normal part of being a human being, it's a natural response that prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives. The problem is we live in such a fast paced digital world where people feel like they need to be switched on 24/7 so there are many things that can stress us out.

Endless access to world news, social media, busy jobs, the cost of living, parenting juggles, mobile phones, and the general day to day stress of life...it's easy to see how a normal amount of stress can quickly lead into chronic stress.

Stress can be brief, situational, and a positive force motivating performance, but if experienced over an extended period of time it can become chronic stress, which negatively impacts health and well-being.

WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING WHEN WE'RE STRESSED?

Anytime you feel stressed your amygdala (brains fear response that contributes to emotional processing) sends out a distress signal to your hypothalamus, which is like a mini control centre in your brain. Your hypothalamus then starts to send out stress hormones (adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine) which then trigger the ancient fight or flight response. Your nervous system then gets your body gets ready for the perceived threat - muscles tense, heart rate quickens, breathing speeds up, digestive system slows down.

This response was designed to protect your body in an emergency by preparing you to react quickly. But when the stress response keeps firing, day after day, it could put your health at serious risk.

WHAT DAMAGE CAN STRESS DO TO YOUR BODY AND MIND?

Short doses of the stress response are ok as your nervous system has the time to go back to a place of rest and relaxation but when you're body is in a constant state of high alert the long term exposure to cortisol and other stress hormones can negatively impact nearly all of your body's process's.

This puts you at higher risk of many health problems, including:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Digestive problems

• Headaches

• Muscle tension and pain

• Heart disease, heart attack, high blood pressure and stroke.

• Sleep problems

• Weight gain

• Problems with memory and focus

HOW DO WE MANAGE STRESS?

Managing your stress levels is an essential way to look after both your mental and physical health but it's important to remember that life doesn't have to be completely free of stress for you to be able to effectively regulate your nervous system. We can't control what life throws at us, but you can control how you react.

Tapping

Tapping is a wonderful way to bring your nervous system back into balance anytime you feel stressed, try this 10 Min tapping sequence above and notice how it makes you feel with no judgement.

Pepare your Nervous System

The start of the day is really important to get your nervous system ready for the day. Set an alarm (something calming like a bird sound) to wake you up 10 mins earlier and do something that calms your mind. That could be a listening to a meditation, doing some tapping, some breathwork or moving your body like a short yoga sequence. If you’re a mum like me then THIS is how you can meditate in the morning.

Regulate your breathing

Take time throughout the day to bring your breath down into your belly. This is the best way to engage your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and relaxation) and THIS is how you do it:

Be mindful of how you use your phone

Mobile phones can be a big cause of stress and anxiety so be really mindful about how you use your phone throughout the day. Reduce the amount of time you spend on social media, stop reading the news, silence your notifications, don't feel like you need to reply to endless Whatsapp messages, never look at your phone first thing in the morning and last thing at night and physically put your phone away when you are doing another task or sat at the dinner table.

Create a sleep ritual

The end of the day is an important time to signal to your brain - it's time to switch off. Get off any screens at least 1 hour before bed and do something that calms your mind like tapping, meditation, hot bath, journalling, calming smells… When you improve your sleep, it's much easier to regulate your emotions (and stress response) the next day.

Regularly do these three things:
Release jaw, soften hands, relax shoulders.

Listen to this meditation to deeply anchor your mind in the present momet, reduce your stress levels and create a bubble of protection around yourself.

3 MIN TAPPING TO START YOUR DAY

The start of your day is a REALLY important time for your mind. It can make the difference between having a good or bad day. When you set your brain up right you'll be much better equipped to deal with what the day might throw at you. Never look at your phone first thing in the morning it’s like giving your mental health and power away, instead do something that calms and soothes both body and mind.

This 3 minute Tapping Process won't take long at all but will be having a BIG impact on your nervous system - the perfect way to start the day!

TAPPING FOR CHILDREN

Childhood forms the foundation of your mental health and wellbeing, this is why it's so important (as parents and caregivers) to empower children with tools that help them process their emotions. It's really normal for children to have worries but it's often hard for them to identify or even verbalise what’s really going on for them. Tapping is a great way to help children gently process their worries so that things never build and become overwhelming.

As long as your child can speak - they can follow along with the tapping above. If they can't yet speak you can always play a game of 'simon says' and get them to copy what you do as you tap on your body.

If it's your own child and (and they would like you to) you can also try tapping on them. I sometimes tap on my daughter just before she goes to sleep to help her feel calm and relaxed.

You can follow the video above or try these:

1. You can simply tap and breathe (remember children need our nervous systems to help them regulate theirs, this is called co-regulation) so when you take a deep breath, this has a calming effect on them. Either tapping on them or tapping on yourself and they copy you.

2. Tap on them and repeat affirmations like - I love you just the way you are, you are amazing, you are clever, you are kind, you are funny, you are incredible, you are special, you are loved...

3. Get them to tap on themselves while they repeat affirmations like - I am good enough just the way I am, I am special, I am loved, I can be whoever I want to be, I am amazing, I love myself...

For more support helping your child please get in touch kim@happyheads.me xx

TAPPING DURING PREGNANCY

Pregnancy is a magical time but it can also be mentally and physically challenging. Your body is going through so many changes, you may have morning sickness, aches and pains, raging hormones, worries about the baby, birth and beyond - it's a big transition! Is my baby safe? Will I cope with birth? Will I be a good mum? Am I eating the right things? How is my life going to change? Will I be able to handle sleep deprivation?

Anxiety during pregnancy is totally normal and every person will have a different thing that's worrying them. It's more important than ever to nurture your mind during pregnancy because this helps you to be as mentally strong as possible postpartum. Regularly tuning in to identify and process your worries is a powerful way to make you feel calm, grounded and empowered throughout the whole journey.

Watch this video to see how tapping can help you do exactly that.

TAPPING FOR TIRED MUMS

Being a mum to a little one can feel really challenging because you are often sleep deprived and that's tough! When you’ve had a bad nights sleep there is a 66% amplification to your brains amygdala (fear response) which means:
- It’s easy to feel more anxious
- Harder to think clearly and focus
- Easier to think negatively
- Harder to self regulate your emotions
- Your nervous system may feel frazzled and more sensitive
- You may feel floaty and like you’re on another planet

Whilst I can’t give you the gift of sleep I do know how to calm your nervous system, which is all you need to do on days when you’ve had zero sleep and you'll be surprised at how much more awake you feel afterwards!
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Watch this video to see how it's done and reset your tired mind 👆🏼
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TAPPING FOR PARENTS

Finding time for self care as a parent can be tough when all your energy is being poured into your little ones. A child's brain is still very much developing, which is why they are unable to self regulate their emotions - they need us to help them. That's incredibly hard to do if you're feeling exhausted, stressed, anxious and low. The more you nurture your own mind, the easier it is to nurture theirs.

Watch this video to see how you can use tapping to calm your incredible parent brain.

If you would like more support nurturing your mind please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help xx

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HOW WE CAN HELP OUR KIDS POST PANDEMIC

I wrote an article for the brillaint Parentfolk about how we can support children and teens mental health and wellbeing post pandemic. You can check out the full article HERE on page 48-49.

TEACHING CHILDREN MEDITATION

There is nothing normal about the world we live in right now so it’s no surprise that lots of children and parents are feeling anxious, stressed and overwhelmed. Happy Heads teaches people how to stop, pause and breathe - empowering you with simple tools and techniques that reduce anxiety, build confidence and help to release worries.

The 30 minute workshop below includes breathing techniques, guided meditation and Emotional Freedom Technique (also know as Tapping). EFT is a powerful way to help release tension held in both body and mind and overcome any negative thoughts that children or parents may be having right now…